I'll take it with extra cream
by WickedWickedMe
Summary: Natalie's working as a waitress at a cafe in Boston because of a Cahill assignment, where she meets a certain blonde haired, green eyed boy. And he happens to take his coffee with extra cream and a kiss.
1. There had better be Perrier

I humbly bow before all writers of the 39 Clues series, whose work I will never own in my wildest dreams.

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: Evan, get here and do the disclaimer!**

**Evan: NO!**

**Me: If you do Amy will take you back**

**Evan: WickedWickedMe does not own the 39 Clues.**

**Amy: I won't take you back. (*walks away and hugs Ian*)**

**Evan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Jumps down a building)**

**Amian fans: Yay!**

**A/N:** **This is my second fic and it revolves around Natan/Danatalie. For those who have not read my first fic, mercury poisoning, do check it out! As for this story, "I take it with extra cream", I hope you all enjoy it. **

Natalie's POV:

A sneer made its way to my face when Ian told me what I had to do. He assigned me a mission from the Lucian Headquarters which required me to be a waitress. In America. A _waitress_. In bloody _America._ That meant I had to leave England and our mansion, to go to America, to act like a poor peasant, so desperate for money that they resorted to serving people!

"Must I really do this?" I whined. "Can't you pick someone else?"

"Yes, sister. You have to go. I apologise, but I cannot trust anyone else to do it. It would be absolutely horrible if somebody else tried to complete it and ruined the whole operation. The Cahill's could be in danger. On the plus side, the café you will work at provides cute French maid outfits for its waitresses."

"But Ian!" I wailed," I have to go to Boston! Boston! And leave England!"

"I will be coming with you, Natalie. I too do not want this but it is for the Cahills'."

Actually I knew he wanted to go. He hadn't gotten over Amy.

"I'll only go if the uniform is Prada."

"No worries, dear sister. I will have a uniform tailor made for you.

***** "Lovely" –Ian, the 39 Clues *****

A day later, Ian and I were seated comfortably in their private jet, sipping Perrier mineral water. They ONLY drank Perrier. The rest of the brands were consumed by mere, common, peasants. Kabra's settled only for the best, the best, and nothing but the best.

"Sister, I shall now brief you on your assignment."

I mumbled something intelligible as I bit into my caviar on crispy toast, lightly buttered. God knew when I would next be able to taste caviar on toast again.

Ian continued, "Sister, we suspect that the café owner is a Vesper. Therefore, you are supposed to try and find out as much as you can. Pry, eavesdrop, steal documents, anything so long as we can prove whether he is, or isn't, a vesper. If he is not a vesper, you can quit your job and we can go back to England. If he is," Ian paused, "you can take care of him. Knock him out with an amnesiac and take him to the Cahill Command Centre. "

I nodded, savouring my toast. God knows when I can next taste caviar.

"I shall be staying at our villa in America, but you are staying in an apartment provided by the café to its employees. It will be more convenient and easier for you."

I nearly spat my toast out, which would be a pity as God knew when I would next taste caviar on toast. Stay in an APARTMENT? Like a common, poor PEASANT? That was so BENEATH me! This was utterly ridiculous!

Angry, I threw my toast at Ian, aiming for his face. Ian inclined his head and my toast splattered on the aisle, which was a total waste, because God only knew when I would next taste caviar on toast.

"Carrie, clean that up." Ian ordered our air stewardess.

"Yes Mr. Kabra." She began to clean up the toast and caviar.

Three words. Her life sucked.

A lot.

"Natalie, that was perhaps unneeded. But do bear in mind that the sooner you finish this assignment, the sooner we get to go back. It will just be for a while." Ian soothed.

"Now, your tailor made uniform is in the luggages. I had Martha iron and press it for you."

Ian did have a point.

I wanted more toast.

"Carrie, more caviar on toast."

"Yes, Miss Kabra."

Her life really, horribly, utterly, absolutely sucked.

"But Ian, I get to go shopping right?"

"As often as you want to, during your free time."

I was visibly relieved.

"When you end work, Amy and Dan will pick you up. I will meet you at their house where you can give me the information you have gathered for the day."

Those orphans? And I had to see Daniel? Five years have passed since the Clue hunt and still I found him irritating.

"Natalie, I know what you are thinking. We are in league with the madrigals to complete this assignment."

I scowled at him. He just wanted to see Amy.

*****"Executor? He killed her?"- Dan, The 39 Clues*****

When the plane landed, Ian and I stepped out of the plane and into the waiting limousine. The chauffeur piled our luggages into the boot. We had arrived at bloody America, where God knew when I would next be able to taste caviar on toast. If they had no Perrier mineral water… I would dump a bucket of water on Ian and made sure that it hit.

"Relax, sister. I know what you are thinking," Ian laughed, "they have Perrier mineral water here. I'm pretty sure they have caviar on toast too." Ian grabbed a bottle of Perrier out of the limo's mini fridge and handed it to me. I took it gratefully.

The chauffeur dropped me off at the apartment provided for me, and after changing into the tailor made uniform (which was REALLY cute, even I had to admit), I was ready to start work after meeting my boss. The sooner I completed this crappy assignment, the better. Heck, I already missed the caviar on toast already. I patted my ever-handy dart gun containing sixteen different Lucian poisons (it used to be Ian's but he gave it to me), in my pocket, and ensured that my stiletto heels were still filled with poison (arsenic in the right, lead in the left. If the heel was twisted a certain way, both poisons would be easily accessible for me.) Brushing off a fleck of dust at my shoulders, I was ready to complete the mission.

**A/N: Did you like the stories? Again, reviews would make my day but you are not obligated to do so. I hope you all enjoyed it, and do leave suggestions, comments and constructive criticism by pressing the blue button down there. It will be much appreciated. This chapter is dedicated to RoselleAutumnSunrise, for being RoselleAutumnSunrise. I am not able to update so quickly because of school issues (CAMP!), but give me ten days max. I PROMISE it will be up by then. **

**A side note: Reviews= Good mood= faster updates. **

**Till the next chapter!**

**~Wicked.**


	2. What the heck are tips?

Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 Clues. Really. So don't sue. Please?

**Me: Natalie, do the disclaimer.**

**Natalie: I have far more important things to do than to help measly peasants do their disclaimer. **

**Me: What if, this peasant, who is actually NOT a peasant, offers you a piece of caviar toast for a disclaimer done in this place where only God knows when you will be able to taste caviar toast again? **

**Natalie: I probably would, then. **

**Me: …**

**Natalie: …**

**Me: Well, what are you waiting for?**

**Natalie: WickedWickedMe does not own the 39 Clues and any characters appearing in this story, apart from Callie and a few random others. Happy? Give me caviar toast NOW!**

**Me: Sheesh, you gotta learn to be more patient … (Gives Natalie a piece of caviar toast.) On with the story!**

**Natalie: Kabra's get whatever they want whenever they want! Patience is not needed. **

Natalie POV.

The café owner was probably in his late forties or early fifties, I thought, doing a quick assessment. He was wearing an Armani suit, something Ian would wear. It was just that, somehow, he didn't manage to pull it off like Ian did. We Kabra's were just fantastic like that. Ian said that the cafés he owned were so successful; he opened up a chain of cafes almost everywhere. Needless to say, he was rather wealthy, just not as affluent as Ian and me.

When I met him, he told me that he wanted to assess me on my responsiveness, open mindedness, quick wittedness, intelligence, general knowledge, and other bloody craptastic things to see how well I could deal with customers. I _never_ knew that waitresses had to be intelligent. I thought they just had to prance around acting cute and bimbotic. And I was not happy about it. It was not that I couldn't clear the assessment, given my Lucian training and all, but I had never needed to do anything like this before. And I was now acting like a peasant because of an assignment.

On my ears, I wore a pair of ruby earrings acquired from the Lucian Weapon/Poison Arsenal. Other gems were available, of course, but I decided on rubies because they would complement my skin tone nicely. The earring on my right ear was actually a mic, which I could use to communicate with Ian (he could hear what was going on) while the other earring was a poison. An amnesiac, to be exact. It could knock someone out for eight hours straight, and it dissolved in water. I tried it on Alan Tolliver once, and let's just say that the results were rather… interesting.

"So, I take it that you are Natalie."

"Yes Mr…" I tried to sound enthusiastic, while I was actually seething. Natalie Kabra _never _needed to address anyone by "Mr."

"Tolliver. My name is Jason Tolliver."

I heard Ian spit out a mouthful of something he was drinking. Perrier, probably.

"Yes Mr. Tolliver." Wait, didn't Alan Tolliver share the same last name? Was Jason Tolliver his dad or something? I _knew_ it! I had _always_ been 100% sure Alan was a Vesper. I strongly suspected Jason Tolliver was a Vesper already. Now I couldn't wait to try the amnesiac on him.

"Relax, brother." I quietly murmured out of the corner of my mouth.

"I AM relaxed!" Ian said indignantly.

An awkward silence ensued between Senior Tolliver and me.

"So! We can start the assessment." I nodded mutely at him. Ian would help me if I needed it.

"I shall say a word, and I will check your responsiveness and such. Tell me what the words mean."

That dipstick. Was. Wasting. My. Time. I could be eating caviar on toast!

"Janus-faced"

"Two faced, hypocritical, deceitful."

"Lucian."

Bloody! This guy was _definitely_ a Vesper.

Ian said into my ear through the mic/earring "Lucian of Samosata was a famous rhetorician and satirist, noted for his witty and scoffing nature." I gladly repeated after him. I didn't know who Lucian of Samosata was. Heck I was surprised Ian knew who he was. In any case, Tolliver looked impressed, so…

"Madrigal"

"My music harmony class. A Madrigal is a secular music composition of the renaissance and early Baroque eras." Was I glad I paid attention during my music classes!

I realized that Tolliver wasn't giving me an assessment; he was testing my reaction to phrases associated with Cahills. Fortunately, my Lucian lessons paid off, and I hadn't faltered or hesitated.

"Well done Natalie," Ian said through the earring/mic. I loved those earrings. And they were so _fashionable._

"Well done Natalie. You may start work, Callie will help you. Is that alright?"

"Yes Mr. Tolliver." I resisted the urge to take out my dart gun and shoot him dead.

Tolliver went out of the room as a blonde, petite girl entered.

"You are Natalie, right?" She said to me, smiling.

"Yes, and you are Callie, I presume?"

"Yep. You wear the uniform well. Are you a British? Because you have a British accent."

"Oh yes. This is my first waitressing job." I said, already warming up to this girl, Callie. However, I was still unhappy and unwilling to serve others. Serving peasants were so beneath a Kabra.

Callie handed me a pen, a notepad and a tray. "Those are your tables," she told me, pointing at a nearby partition with a few tables. "Just take their orders, collect them from the kitchen when they are ready, serve them," I shuddered at the word "serve." "Finally, collect the tips! Those are the best part." Callie smiled brightly at me.

What the hell were "tips?"

******* "My God what is that smell?""It's called fresh air." Ian and Sinead, the 39 Clues. *******

"Well sister, tips are cash that customers leave on tables for their waitresses in America, to subsidize their hourly wages. But do bear in mind that customers are not obligated to leave tips, but they will usually do so if the service is good." Ian said, obviously sensing my confusion.

Oh, so _those_ were tips. That was good to know. Why couldn't those Americans just follow the British way of inducing a service charge? It was so inconvenient!

Good, so now I just had one last thing to do: Check if the café sold Perrier mineral water and caviar on toast.

**A/N: I was able to finish this really quickly! Internet service and electronic devices are not accessible for me from the 7th to the 10th so, I cannot write drafts and post them. IM SO SORRY! (*dodges rotten tomato*)I will try to update once more before the 7th, so stay tuned! Hoped you all liked the story. Now to reply some reviewers…**

**Dream. Love. Smile. : Here's the next chapter! Thanks for your support and your reviews!**

**Addictedtoreading9: ;D Thanks. They are my favourite quotes. By the way, Natalie will still be complaining about how God knows when she will next be able to taste caviar on toast. **

**TheUnoStyle: Your awesome reviews are my kryptonite… Really. Thanks for the review!**

**hi my name is: Thanks! Well, here's the update already. ;) **

**Bye everyone, keep those reviews coming!**

**P.S: The tenth reviewer gets a chapter dedicated to him/her so…**


	3. The things people do for sanity

Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 Clues, or anything that I do not own. (e.g., the 39 Clues.)

Me: So who shall be given the honour of doing the disclaimer? Hmmmm…. (puts on thinking face). Ah! Dan!

Me: Dan! Come do the disclaimer!

Dan: (still asleep.)

Me: Dan! Do the disclaimer or I'm gonna erase your progress on Ninja Gaiden and you'll have to replay ALL your levels! (*Kabra smirks*)

Dan: WickedWickedMe does not own the 39 Clues, Amy, Ian, Natalie, or anybody that she doesn't own! And she definitely does not own me because I am awesome! (Dan, very frantic, fully awake.)

Me: I do not own Dan. I pwn Dan.

Dan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: On with the story!

A/N: Mercury Poisoning will be taking a short little break till the 12th because I have some drafting and planning to do. It is still being continued, yes. However, this story will continue to be updated till the 7th of June, so keep on reviewing! Capiche?

Natalie POV.

I was sick and tired of her unreasonability and childishness.

I was sick and tired of her husband too. He was so henpecked and oblivious.

I had placed a dish of baked rice on their table. Barely a minute later, the bloody woman had called me back, pointing to a hair on the side of the dish. At first, I was disgusted when I saw the strand of long, blonde hair, wondering how it could possibly have gotten there as I had jet black hair, the busser, who had zero contact with their food, sported a head of red hair, and the chef had no hair. Then, it dawned on me that she had a full head of long, blonde hair.

"This is absolutely unacceptable," she griped, "what will you do about that?"

I smirked. How dumb could a blonde really be? I mean, apart from the glue-a-mirror-to-the-bottom-of-a-pool-to-drown-a-blonde jokes. I got ready to tell her off and humiliate her in front of everybody.

"It's your fault! I demand that you give me a new dish free of charge!"

She was delusional.

Or idiotic. Either.

My fault? I wasn't the one preparing her food, for God's sake. And now I was bearing the brunt of her anger? I snarled at her.

Blondie glared at her husband. He looked frightened for a moment, and then chimed in, "it's absolutely disgusting!"

Of course it was disgusting! He woke up next to it every morning! I snapped at him and told him exactly that, smugly tilting my head to one side and crossing my arms over my chest, inspecting my recently manicured nails and pretending to watch in amusement as her face turned pink, then red, and finally a lovely hue of purple whilst I was secretly yearning to yank out her blonde extensions, twist my stiletto heels and shove lead and arsenic down her and her husband's throats.

Ian chuckled and spoke into the mic, "Control yourself Natalie."

I smiled sweetly at the fuming woman.

"I demand to speak to the manager!"

"Yes?" Callie stopped by the table, selecting a confused/worried expression and slid it on her face. She flashed me a smile and winked at me.

The now purple-faced blonde hissed at Callie "This insolent waitress insulted me. I demand that she be punished! Moreover, a hair was found in my baked rice! A _hair_!"

Callie looked at her with an exaggerated apologetic look on her face.

"I am so _sorry_ madam! We will give you a new dish immediately, and this waitress will be punished for her unseemly attitude! Natalie, come with me."

Callie's eyes were twinkling. She was _so _faking it, and Blondie was eating it up.

Flipping my hair, I tossed an "I-don't-give-a-crap" look to Blondie and her husband before strutting off.

*****"Turn right now." "Right? All I can see is a bloody narrow gap between trees!" GPS and Ian, the 39 Clues. *****

Callie brought me into a back room and told me, "that woman deserves it. Comes in here practically everyday and always somehow manages to kick up a fuss. The previous waitress quit because of her. "

"Well, then why does she not go somewhere else, instead of throwing her weight about in here?"

Callie snorted. "That's because we're the only decent café around here. The rest of the eateries are either fancy restaurants or tumbledown little shacks. So when you go up, just sniffle a little, pretend you've been crying, apologise to her and remember to lay it on thickly. Then, serve her a new dish."

I bristled. I apologized to no one but my parents, and perhaps Ian. Not to random blondes.

Ian added in my ear, "Just do it Natalie. You can find some way to get back at her."

"Sure Callie." I turned around, my back facing Callie, and started walking towards the door.

"Brother, I already planned to do that," I murmured out of the corner of my mouth, "You didn't have to tell me that."

I stepped out of the room and rubbed my eyes twice. Then, I walked up to Blondie's table and sniffed pathetically.

"My sincere apologies, dear sir and madam. My behavior was absolutely unforgivable! It will not happen again, rest assured, dear madam, sir."

She nodded snootily.

"I'll serve you another dish immediately."

When I headed into the kitchen to collect more baked rice, I reached into my apron pocket and dumped five packets of sugar into her hair, in all of its blonde glory, while resisting the urge to laugh at her then slap her hard.

"Great job, my dear sister. She definitely deserved that." I could hear the smirk in Ian's voice.

*****"Hello, love.""Don't call me love!" Ian and Amy, the 39 Clues.*****

When it was time for my lunch break, I changed into a Donna Karan juicy couture dress. Ian had it specially shipped from France. First, I went to the nearest store and bought a bottle of hair remover (to be drunk by consumer), crossing my fingers that I would meet Blondie the next day. Then, I further purchased a box of disposable masks, slipping both the bottle and the masks into my Chanel purse before making my way to a fancy restaurant for lunch (caviar on toast, nonfat soya macchiato.) Even so, the caviar on toast which the people living in the US provinces got to enjoy there was but of a mediocre standard. The toast was not crispy enough, the butter was slathered all over the toast (the toast had to be lightly buttered), and the butter which they used was unsalted butter, not salted butter. Furthermore, the butter tasted like margarine. Still, caviar toast was caviar toast. I made sure to leave a tip for the waitress, whose services I was rather satisfied with, before I left the restaurant.

The rest of the day passed fairly normally, but I was more than tired when I knocked off. My feet ached in their stilettos.

From _Ian_; Amy, Daniel, and I will be coming to pick you up in a limo soon. Get ready; we'll be there within two minutes. (**A/N: One Direction! I'll be there in two, I'll be there in two, I'll be there in two…**)

I stepped outside and when I saw a limo pull up a few moments later, I pulled on a disposable mask, fishing it out of my purse. For once, I didn't care about how I looked. All that mattered was that I was going to breathe the same air as Daniel Cahill, and I needed protection before I lost my precious sanity.

**A/N: How was that? This chapter is dedicated to the tenth reviewer, OHGODSIJUSTEMBARRASSEDMYSELF. Thank you all for reviewing, and do remember to review this chapter! I stayed up till midnight to draft it out! Now, to answer the reviews….**

**xxXNatan fanXxx: Luv your name! Yeah, in Europe people do things differently than in America… Amy/Dan comes out next chapter!**

**Addictedtoreading9: lol thanks for reviewing! Oh Lucian of Samosata really exists, haha, you can google him if you like :D**

**MaddyDell: I know quite a few people named Lucian… Thanks! Im glad you liked Mercury Poisoning as well as this one…**

**Amianfreak19: YES, Evan is a Vesp! (short for Vesper…) and the Tollivers are going down… Oh that reminds me…**

**If anybody has any suggestions/things they would like to see happening to the Tollivers, please PM me or leave it in the reviews! Thanks!**

**RoselleAutumnSunrise: Happy that you enjoyed it… it was, after all, dedicated to you so…**

**OHGODSIJUSTEMBARRASSEDMYSELF: Congrats for being the tenth reviewer! Yayy Danatalie! Natan!**

**JesseCPK: Yes, it's on purpose! Evan=Alan cause people just like to piss him off and such… Yes Im still doing the other story, it will be updated on the 12th of June. **

**Unicorn Ruler of bacon: It means something. Please leave a proper, useful review in future! :D**

**Till the next chapter! Toodles, **

**~Wicked**


	4. Free Amian merchandise:Reviewers only

Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 Clues or anything which I do not own. Sue and get sued. I mean it.

Me: Thank You Saladin for agreeing to do my disclaimer!

Saladin: Mrrp? (I never agreed to do your disclaimer.)

Me: Yes you did, remember our "red snapper" deal?

Saladin: Mrrp, mrrp, mrp! (Red snapper? Where? What deal?)

Me: Oh, just play along and stop embarrassing me in front of all those readers!

Oh, er, hi, you did not see the conversation above. It was a figment of your imagination. Oh, well, my new intern can do the disclaimer.

Me: Cassidy come here!

Cassidy: Yes?

Me: Do the disclaimer for me, please.

Cassidy: WickedWickedMe does not own the 39 Clues or any of the characters whom she does not own, so please do not sue her. Thank you. Your kindness is much appreciated.

Me: Cassidy never argues! Oh, well, on with Chapter Four!

**A/N: Here's the update! Aren't you guys happy that I finally updated? I am so sorry for not updating! Really! So, this chapter is extra long to make up for it. Please don't kill me… Ah, whatever. Enjoy!**

**Natalie POV.**

But I was still going to lose my sanity. I was sure of that. It was just a matter of time.

Stepping into the limousine, Ian, Amy, and Daniel were sitting at the back, a chauffeur driving the limo. "Hello Ian," I greeted, "hello pea-Amy." "Good afternoon, Daniel."

"It's Dan, Cobra."

"It's Kabra, not Cobra. Get your facts right."

"Did I stutter?"

"Why, of_ course_ you didn't. I _vaguely_ heard you call me Cobra, but I'm _sure_ I must have been mistaken, mustn't I."

"I never thought you would ever wear a disposable mask like a common peasant."

"Well, I was desperate because I was going to have to breathe the same air as you. I'll get an oxygen mask as soon as possible."

Ian and Amy were trying very, very hard not to laugh, which was irritating but not as irritating as Daniel. What the hell was the joke? I didn't get it. This was so stupid.

I glared at them.

*****"You're a thief!""Not a thief, Amy. A _Lucian_." Amy Cahill and Ian Kabra, the 39 clues. *****

"Really?" I beamed happily.

"Yes, really. Apparently, you staying in the company-provided apartments are perfectly useless, because Tolliver doesn't even go _near_ them. You can stay with me in the vill-"

"Wait a moment, did you say Tolliver? Tolliver as in Evan Tolliver?" Amy interrupted suddenly.

"Alan?" Ian put in smugly. "Why yes, of course. That is the 'Tolliver' we are talking about. The person who owns the café is called Jason Tolliver."

Amy's eyes darkened with worry.

"Man, I _knew_ it! I just KNEW it. Evan was a Vesp!" Daniel screeched loudly.

I shot daggers at him with my eyes. Now, my ears were practically bleeding. However, I did know that Alan was a Vesper. It was blatantly, undeniably, obvious.

Amy glared at her brother. He had just insulted her boyfriend. What did you expect?

Ian smirked. He had _always_ been 110% sure that Alan was a Vesper. I mean, with the name Tolliver… it sounded kind of… Vesper-ish

"Well love, as Natalie and I have gathered from"

"Don't call me love!"

"Don't call my sister love!"

"her conversation between Tolliver and herself, there is a _very_ high chance that he will turn out to be a Vesper. Especially the things he asked Natalie during the so-called assessment he gave her."

Ian played the recording of my assessment for Amy and Daniel to hear, both of them listening eagerly.

When it finished playing, Ian looked at those orphans and said gravely, "and that is why we suspect that he is a Vesper."

Daniel snorted. "Which Vesper would deliberately say things like that to draw attention to himself like that during an assessment? If Natalie happened to be a Cahill-which she is- she would, like, totally know what was going on. And if she just so happened to be a Cahill _and_ a Lucian-which she also is-chances are that she would be able to cover it up pretty well!"

Ian and I smirked for about only the twentieth time today.

"Why, thank you Daniel."

"Coming from you, that was an absolute compliment."

"Hey, hey ,hey!" Daniel shouted indignantly. "All I meant was that Lucians are good at acting and manipulating, the works! First of all, it was definitely not a compliment. Second, it is _Dan_. Not _Daniel_."

"Lucians get better at lying, not acting. Even though we go for acting lessons they are mainly just to teach us to mask and feign emotions and such…" Ian said thoughtfully. "We can pass any lie detector."

"Anyway!" I exclaimed in a phony cheery voice, "that was a really _smart _observation made by you Daniel." I scrunched up my nose and stressed slightly on the word _'smart'_, making it sound like an insult rather than a compliment, which was exactly what I had intended to do.

"Dan."

"Whichever, Daniel."

"Dan. D-A-N. DAN."

"Like I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted," I hissed at Daniel, glaring at him, with one hand on my pocket in immediate reach of my trusty dart gun (you know… the one with sixteen different Lucian poisons…), which he would be _well _acquainted with if he interrupted me again, "Tolliver would assume that most people think like you do. And if everybody _just so_ happened to think the way you do, they would think that he wasn't a Vesper, which he probably is. And that is exactly what he wants. "

"Come on Dan!" Amy urged, "you've got to admit, Natalie has a point!

"What? What if Tolliver isn't a Vesper and people think like you? Whatever we do will be a wasted effort!"

"What if he _is _one, and he assumes everyone thinks the way _you_ do? Which will, sooner or later, get them killed?"

"What if he assumes-"

"Stop this _right now_!" Ian ordered. Amy had a dazed, confused look on her face.

Daniel and I glared at each other haughtily. I whacked him with my purse, hard.

"Ouch! Cobra, that freaking hurt!"

"Natalie!"

"Dan! No swearing!"

"What? I said freaking not effing!"

"Daniel Arthur Cahill!"

*****"Or how you people in the US Provinces say…Bungee!""I believe it is bingo." Natalie Kabra and Alistair Oh, the 39 Clues*****

The next day, when I reached the café, Callie was already there.

"Hey Natalie!"

"Hello Callie!"

"Nice earrings. You wore them yesterday, didn't you?"

I smiled to myself. "Well, yes. My brother gave them to me, and I must admit that they are, in fact, rather lovely."

"Okaaaaaaaaaay," Callie shrugged, dragging the 'a'. "Ready for work?"

Then, I entered my partition and saw Daniel lounging on one of the booths near the glass windows, which had fascinating window moldings on them. I strutted over to him.

"What do you want, Daniel?" I asked sourly.

He didn't bother commenting about the Dan/Daniel thing.

"Oh, no need to act like that." Daniel smiled. I wanted to punch it right off his face. "I want coffee. A large caramel frappe, extra cream and it _has_ to be whipped cream. Remember, _extra whipped cream_. Extra sugar, less ice. The ice blended into the coffee. Decaffeinated."

I snorted. I could still remember the time during a Cahill reunion, where he had stupidly downed twelve cups of full-caffeine coffee. He wasn't able to sleep for three days straight, tired as he was. Walking around with a massive headache, puffy red eyes, and rather unflattering purple eye bags, resembling a walking zombie whilst he shuffled around the mansion while stuffing his face with some multicolored American candy. Skitties? Something like that. That was the one and only time he begged me to shoot him with my dart gun as there were no sleeping pills in the house (he used them to prank Alan Tolliver.) At least he well and truly learnt his lesson.

**A/N: Well, the reason why I have not been updating is because I have been very busy lately. Well, I hope the length makes up for it :D. Also, please leave a review if you liked this update. I feel sad whenever there are no reviews. **

**I made a deal with someone. In return, I had to dedicate this chapter to that person! So, ReAmSr, this chapter is dedicated to you. **

**Now, to answer some lovely reviews, which made me very happy:**

**All names at the bottom, please collect a complimentary Amian is Awesome notebook and pencil from Cassidy on your way out!**

**JesseCPK: I need to complete drafting and planning Mercury Poisoning before the update (did I mention that I adopted your suggestion?) I shall update this as often as I possibly can, at least once per 6 days... And **_**of course**_** Dan is involved! It's a Dan/Natalie story. And the blonde was just dumb. So yeah. **

**Dream. Love. Smile. : Amy and Dan are in here! Amian? I'm not so sure, the main focus is Danatalie, even though Amian is my favorite pairing of all time! Maybe… It really depends, actually. **

**amianfreak19: Yep, Blondie was meant to be annoying! Haha, oh and as for Callie… Well you'll find out something about her very soon, and NO, SHE IS NOT A VESPER. She is a (*mumbles something*) you'll find out! **

**xxXNatan fanXxx: You're welcome… :D Lollz. (OMG I LOVE YOUR NAME)**

**IHeardOneThingInTheCarToday: YES! 1D IS AWESOME! I heard What Makes You Beautiful :D. **

**Candysweetstories: Well, wait no more, it's right here! Does this chapter taste sweet?**

**~ Love, Wicked. **

**Don't forget to collect the complimentary stuff on your way out. Cassidy is the hyper brunette clutching a basket and waving madly. And… Oh gosh, she's jumping on the tables. Must have eaten too many Skittles. **


	5. Im in love with my profile picture

**Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 Clues. I never will. Sad right?**

**Me: Oh well, who do you want to do the disclaimer?**

**(*awkward silence*)**

**Me: ! **

**Fine. Ian, do the disclaimer!**

**Ian: Why should I?**

**Me: Because I shall blackmail/manipulate you into doing it. **

**Ian: Im a Lucian! Nobody manipulates a Lucian! Lucians manipulate. They do not get manipulated**

**Me: Really? Well I just so happen to be a Lucian and I will dance the foxtrot on your Armani suits. **

**Ian: WickedWickedMe does not own the 39 Clues or any characters she does not own. She does, however, own the plot. **

**Me: See? That wasn't so hard, was it? Now, I shall go spit on your slippery shoes.**

**Ian: !**

**Me: On with Chapter Five! Also, I realize most of my disclaimers end with the disclaimees screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

**Natalie POV.**

I could not believe how big of a fuss Daniel was kicking up just because the ice was blended _then_ added to the coffee, and not blended _into_ the coffee, the way he liked it.

I was -and still am- sure that somebody had blended his brain.

"You weren't in the queue yesterday, were you?" I asked, irritably.

"What queue?"

"The queue where God was giving out common sense and EQ."

"Speak for yourself. Nobody else in the world owns sixteen sets of the same outfit."

"And have you met every single person in the world, Daniel? No, you have not. So please do me a favour and _shut up_. The Lucians have always found duct tape to be an affordable and useful way to keep peoples' mouths _shut_."

Daniel was still stubbornly unmoved.

"Bring me another cup of coffee."

Great, he was acting like Blondie.

Then, I realized that Ian had been strangely quiet. I hadn't even heard the occasional random bursts of static which could always be heard whenever something interfered with the signal.. So, that meant that the recorder/sound player/transmitter/whatever on Ian's side was not switched on.

"Where is my brother?" I asked Daniel.

"He went out with my sister. Cahill stuff," Daniel said suspiciously, "or at least, that's what they told me."

Oh, I wore the earrings for nothing. They looked nice, though, so I would keep them on.

So Ian was out with that Cahill girl. Whatever. At any rate, I had to start looking for blackmail material.

I got Daniel another cup of coffee, the _ice blended straight_ into the frappe. I placed my hand on my pocket, where I kept my dart gun and the small bottle of hair remover. I hadn't planned on using it on Daniel, but…

I fished it out and unscrewed the cap. The hair remover was a slightly thick, clear, odorless liquid. Apart from the thickness, it could pass for water. I picked up his frappe? Should I? To use or not to use… I mused.

No, I was saving it for Blondie.

I shook a generous amount of salt into his frappe and served it to Daniel. He gulped down a mouthful, and spat it all over my uniform. Aka, custom-made Prada French maid outfit.

I screamed.

Loudly.

Callie came running and brought me to an employees-only room.

"You can borrow one of my outfits, Natalie. It was Chanel."

Oh. It was Chanel, not Prada. But at least it was chancel, not Sbeezerx or some random brand I had never heard of.

Callie looked straight at me.

"Natalie, you are a Cahill."

I freaked out.

But managed to hide it, the many perks of being a Lucian.

"Cahill?"

"Yes, a Lucian to be exact."

"A _what_?"

"Natalie, I am a Lucian too."

How could I believe her? How did she know that I was a Lucian?

"I invented the earrings you are currently wearing. Gem-encrusted recorders."

Bloody hell. Two words. Bloody hell.

Callie drew out a pair of the earrings I had been wearing since yesterday, only it was opals not rubies. Then she pulled out her agent card and handed it to me.

I took it, turned it over and held it to the light. The edges turned translucent and I could make out the silhouette of the Lucian crest.

No one knew about this except Ian and I, which proved that the card was genuine.

"You're a Lucian?" I asked, surprised, "why are you here?"

"I've been here for a few months, of course, which is why I've actually managed to be promoted to the status of 'manager'. The Lucians suspected that something shady was going on, so they sent me here. Although we have no evidence up to date, the Lucian branch does have its suspicions, which is probably why you were sent here,"

"Ian told me a Lucian named Kelly or something invented the earrings but I had no idea that it was you."

"It's fine. I also know that the cute guy sitting in that booth is the brother of the Madrigal head."

"Yes, but his sister is _much_ better than him."

Wait a moment.

Cute guy?

Excuse me while I go puke my guts out for a moment.

*****"So I could say that A- has a face that looks like a baboon's butt, and you wouldn't know who I was talking about?" Dan Cahill, the 39 Clues.*****

When I came back with another (yes, yet another) tall glass of frappe, Daniel was frantically rinsing his mouth with plain water.

I smirked.

"You know what?" I asked Daniel.

"What?" he barely managed to wheeze out.

"You were lucky. That could have been hair remover instead of salt. Enjoy your drink." I put the glass down in front of him and stalked away.

After a few moments of looking at the frappe suspiciously, he cautiously lifts his straw to his lips and takes a tiny sip, thus deeming it harmless and passable.

Moral: Don't cross a waitress. You know not what she does to your food.

I serve the rest of the customers in my partition.

*****"Touchy!" Dan Cahill, the 39 Clues*****

Blondie struts in like she owns the world, her weedy husband stumbling behind her. She plops herself down at the same booth she sat at yesterday and orders a hot chocolate, whilst her husband orders juice. Bowing my head, I do my best to look submissive (Kabra's do not usually need to look submissive. It is so beneath us) while my vengeful-about-to-take-revenge inner self was cackling with glee, in actuality.

While collecting Blondie's drink, I grab the hair remover, unscrew the cap and dump the full content of the tiny bottle into her hot chocolate. Finally, I put the drink in front of her and walk off, smirking when I notice Daniel has left his booth. I smirk even more when I saw her sipping her hot chocolate. Oh Ian would be _so_ proud of me.

Heck_, I_ was proud of myself.

When I reach Daniel's vacated booth, I saw a note scribbled onto a small, crumpled, scrap of paper.

_Great service Nat. Frappe was good. Left you a tip ;)_

_~Dan_

I look into Daniel's frappe glass and there are coins in them. They jingle as I pick up the large glass, inspecting its contents. Daniel did not completely finish drinking his coffee, and coffee, blended ice and whipped cream remnants were still in the glass.

He dropped coins into the glass.

With coffee and cream still left in it.

It was supposed to be my tip.

To get it, I would have to put my hand in the glass, grope around for the coins and draw them out.

With my hand sticky with cream. And decaffeinated frappe.

I have to tip the busser, a sweet girl of fourteen who always tries to make everybody's life easier. I always give her good tips, but there is no way I am sticking my manicured hand into his coffee cup.

I am so totally getting Daniel back.

He is dead.

**A/N: Check out my new profile picture, my lovelies! It is Amian fanart and if you are observant enough, you can clearly see that the girl is Amy and the guy is Ian. I am irrevocably and hopelessly in love with my profile picture. **

**Thank you to all my fantastic reviewers! I hope that all chapter three reviewers managed to get the complimentary Amian merchandise from Cassidy. I heard she was suffering from a sugar rush, having eaten too many Skittles and she dumped 7Up on somebody's Prada stilettos! Please, can the person accept my deepest apologies and tell me as soon as possible? I will reimburse you. **

**Cassidy's a nice girl, really. Just eats a lot of Skittles and such. Don't blame her :D**

**Thank you to everybody below, I shall now answer to some reviews: **

**Candysweetstories: Thanks! Here's the update! Quick, right? Hope you've recovered from the sugar rush. Cassidy was scary whilst hers lasted. **

**Dream. Love. Smile. : Thank you! The ending was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Well, im glad you liked it! **

**nellieawesomegomez: Nellie is awesome! Yeah! And Evan is a Vesper. Of course. Well Dan did spit over Natalie in this chapter, so…**

**JesseCPK: Something like that Well yes, thanks for your suggestion. **

**Lapulta J.R.R Cahill: Yes, Amy's boyfriend is Evan Tolliver. Actually, Amy addresses Evan as Evan, but the Kabras and Dan address him as "Alan." Cause they wanna irritate him, so yeah ;D**

**addictedtoreading9: I don't like that woman either :(:(**

**amianfreak19: NEVER give Dan coffee. You will regret it. Here's the next chapt! Thanks for your review! **

**RoselleAutumnSunrise: Well, no, Cassidy's my **_**intern**_**, dear. Since when did Cassidy have to do with Meg Cabot? Yes, I am concentrating on other stuff as well…**

**ANNOUNCEMENT: I HAVE LOTS OF SCHOOL ACTIVITIES SO…**

**This will be updated on the 12th, maybe the 11th. **

**Mercury Poisoning will be updated on the 12th, maybe 11th. **

**It all depends on my mood, really. **

**So drop a review. **

**12 reviews=post on 11th, perhaps 10th. **

**But no pressure, I will DEFINITELY update on the 11th/12th though..**

**So keep those reviews coming!**

**Oh this chapter marks my start as a beta, I am extremely happy. **

**~Love, Wicked.**


	6. Prank'd War

**Disclaimer: If I owned the 39 Clues, I wouldn't be here writing fanfiction. Riley Clifford (or is it Clifford Riley?) **

**Me: Jonah! Come do the disclaimer!**

**Jonah: Of course my homie! I get publicity, yo!**

**Me: Homie? Oh, um, you can start. Did I mention, you are the first person to do this without complaining. **

**Jonah: Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, WickedWickedMe don't own the 39 Clues, she don't own me, yo, **

**She don't own Amy or Ian or Dan or Nat,**

**Yo, yo, yo**

**She don't own Skittles or hair remover,**

**I am awesome, my homies, **

**Come support me, yo (yo, yo, yo)**

**I got tons of-**

**Me: (whomps Jonah upside the head. Jonah runs away crying.) That was an excellent try Jonah. But do try to cut down on the 'yo's. **

**Jonah: !**

**Me: And yet another disclaimee screams NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Well, on with the story!**

**Natalie POV.**

Things which make me irritated/make my life hell in order:

11. Fattening American candy, for example Skitties.

10. People whom I _pay_ to give me a manicure, than do it badly.

9. People who drop hair into baked rice and blame it on waitresses.

8. Daniel Cahill.

7. Daniel Cahill.

6. People who leave tips for waitresses in half-finished frappe cups.

5. Daniel Cahill.

4. Cheap lipstick/cheap nail polish/cheap bags/fake jewellery/ second hand items, especially if it costs less than $800.

3. Clowns. (Not because they look freaky, because they are irritating and bear an uncanny resemblance to Daniel Cahill.)

2. Daniel Cahill.

1. Daniel Cahill.

So this is the list of top eleven things which make my life hell in order.

If you noticed, numbers #1, #2, #5, #7, and #8are labeled "Daniel Cahill."

Numbers #3 and #6 refer to him as well.

This brings me to the fact that I have yet to pay him back for leaving me my tips in his frappe cup.

Actually, there were a few things I could do, I pondered while smirking.

I could poison his frappe, not that he would be ordering any more from me soon, poison his Skitties, poison his food, or place itching powder in his clothes, and…

Ian said that we would be staying with the orphans in their mansion. I would get my own room there and it would, additionally, be much more convenient for Ian and I, compared to travelling an hour and a half to our villa, so I was alright with it. Even though I knew he just wanted to be near that Cahill girl.

There were many ways I could use that to my advantage, especially since my room was near Daniel's.

Payback was coming, he'd better watch out.

*****"Richard Saunders was a pseudonym.""A fake foot?" Alistair Oh and Dan Cahill, the 39 Clues. *****

Just before Daniel slept, I sneaked into his room and placed eight rubber snakes in his bed, each tied to a thin but durable transparent cord. I covered the snakes with the bed sheets and placed the eight cords along the frame of the bed, eventually leading under the bed.

During normal days, I would not usually crawl under people's beds, but this was an exception. Furthermore, the underside of Daniel's bed had just been dusted by one of the helper's today, which was the reason why I picked this day to carry my plan out. So my payback wouldn't involve getting my clothes dusty and dirty. Wrinkling my nose, I braced myself and crawled under the bed.

And I waited.

Finally, Daniel came into his room and slipped into bed, turning off all the lights so it was pitch-dark. I smirked to myself. This was going to be so much better than I imagined.

I just waited for a few more moments, when his breathing was more or less regulated, and he was somewhere between "asleep" and "awake."

Then, I pulled all the strings in my hand.

The rubber snakes jerked.

I continued pulling.

The snakes continued jerking.

Daniel was now in "awake" mode. He threw off the covers, sliding open a bedroom drawer and pulling out a small torch. He shined it on his bed.

I pulled.

Daniel saw a mass of moving snakes. Yelling, he ran out of the room.

I seized my opportunity and ran out of the room silently, holding all the snakes in my hand.

Daniel ran to Amy's room, I ran to my room, chucking all the rubber snakes beneath my bed. I would return then to Callie the next day, with a big thank-you.

Rubbing my eyes and fake-yawning, I shook my head _just a little_ to give others the impression that I had been in bed for a while, before stepping out of my room just as Amy and Ian stepped out of theirs, looking genuinely tired.

Perfect timing, as usual.

I congratulated myself.

*****"Dweeb!" Amy Cahill, the 39 Clues.*****

Let's just say that the rest of the night proceeded with a fair bit of screaming and lots of interesting things.

And I got it on videotape. Three cheers for Natalie.

I smirked.

Now, the important question.

Where should I upload it?

**A/N: Well, this is the chapter everyone has been waiting for! Review please! Also, a big thank you to all those at the bottom. You all didn't lend me rubber snakes, but reviewing made up for it. **

**xxXNatan fanXxx : her name is Callie. Natalie just thought it was spelt Kelly. Haha personally, I love the way Dan got back. **

**addictedtoreading9: Natalie's manicure? Hmmm, something fancy and very, very Kabra-ish. Well, thanks. **

**Dream. Love. Smile. : THIS is what will happen. What happened. Oh, whatever. Oh, and I am hopelessly in love with my profile picture. **

**aWESOMENESS: Thanks… I feel happy reading your review… Mehh, some people think it's OC and some think it's OOC. Well, I'll make it more OC. I mean, I'll do my best. **

**JesseCPK: 7 rolls and 5 colours! Awesome! Oh and LUCIANS ROCK. I don't know psychic or psycho… Probably the latter. I can act like an asylum escapee at times. **

**amianfreak19: First, thanks for the marvelous review. Secondly, yes, they should TOTALLY have expected that :D. Next chapts up, wait no more. **

**Layla Nightshade: :D Thanks. It's up now. Hope you enjoyed it. **

**The Goddess of Cupcakes: I love your name. Cupcakes are awesome! Well, me too, but Natalie is a Kabra, ya gotta hand it to her. **

**anon: Thanks! This is actually rated T, which is mild swearing, so I held back on the really bad curses, but I'll tone it down a notch :D thanks for the review, again. Does Vegasa mean anything? **

**This chapter is dedicated to JesseCPK, whose awesome suggestion I used in here. So, JesseCPK, congratulations and **_**thank you**_**. Really. **

**~ LOVE, Wicked, who will be updating, say, five days later. **

**Don't forget, I may update sooner if I am in a good mood, and reviews soothe me. **


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